


Misunderstood

by JCapasso



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24901327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JCapasso/pseuds/JCapasso
Summary: Elena won't let Damon compel away the memory of him telling her he loves her and she learns a lot more about the nature of vampires as he tries to talk her into letting him.
Relationships: Elena Gilbert/Damon Salvatore
Comments: 18
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

Elena was just finishing getting ready for bed when she stopped short at the sight of Damon sitting in her window seat. “Cute pjs,” he said with a smirk.

“I’m tired, Damon,” Elena said wearily.

Damon got up and walked towards her with her necklace dangling from his fingers. “Brought you this.”

“I thought that was gone,” she said happily, reaching for the necklace. “Thank you.” When Damon pulled it away from her she started to get nervous and the look on his face wasn’t helping any. “Please give it back,” she said worriedly.

“I just have to say something,” Damon said, stepping closer.

“Why do you have to say it with my necklace?” Elena asked, backing away further. 

“Well…because what I’m about to say is…probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever said in my life,” Damon said, trying to hide his shaking hands as he swallowed around the nervous lump in his throat. Only the fact that she wouldn’t remember this gave him the courage to do it.

“Damon, don’t go there,” Elena breathed out. 

“I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it,” Damon said, stepping closer again and this time she let him. Being so close to her was making this both easier and more difficult. “I love you, Elena,” he got the hardest part out. “And it’s because I love you that…I can’t be selfish with you. Why you can’t know this. I don’t deserve you,” he said sadly. “But my brother does.”

Elena sucked in a sharp breath as he moved closer and she wondered if he planned on kissing her. This time she couldn’t be a hundred percent certain that she would stop him if he did. She had never seen this side of him before and she couldn’t deny how much she liked it. She almost thought she imagined the tear she felt fall from his eyes but when he pulled back, she could see more of them shining there. 

Damon reached his hand to her cheek. “God I wish you didn’t have to forget this,” he said heartbrokenly. 

Elena closed her eyes and leaned her head forward to his chest. “Don’t, Damon. Please. I don’t have to forget.”

Damon was taken aback at that and more than a little out of his element now. “Yes. You do,” he told her. “Don’t you want to?” 

She took a chance and lifted her head to look at him. As long as he was talking he wasn’t compelling. She just hoped he wouldn’t catch her off guard with it. “No, I don’t. You can’t just compel away stuff like this. If I’m ever going to figure out my feelings for you, then I need memories like this.” 

Damon found himself getting irritated. He was starting to feel like a yoyo she was playing with and he hated that. “What happened to ‘It’ll always be Stefan’?” he asked. “Since when are there any feelings for me for you figure out?” 

Elena sighed. “Look, Damon. That was…I shouldn’t have said /always/ anything. I was just afraid. You were drunk and pushing things and asking me for things I couldn’t give or even accept right then and I said the only thing I could think of to get you to stop.” 

Damon stopped short at that as he considered that memory, hazy though it was in his own mind, and he let out a heavy breath as he realized the truth of her words. “You’re right. I’m sorry about that. And especially about what happened after that. Sometimes I forget how young you are. Stefan and I both do.” 

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” she asked irritated. 

Damon laughed and shook his head. “No, Elena. It’s a fact. Remember how old we are. I just turned a hundred and seventy and Stefan is a hundred and sixty three. You’re just seventeen and still finding your place in the world and we can’t expect you to have all the answers even about your own feelings.” She had been lucky to catch him in an introspective and emotional mood or this would be a very different conversation. Of course, it was more like him catching her, but the point remained the same. 

Elena huffed a laugh and conceded the point. “You don’t really act your ages either though.” 

“What, are we supposed to spend our days on the porch in our rocking chairs yelling at kids to get off the lawn?” he laughed, pulling the same from her. “Just because we have a broader perspective of the world and more experience and understanding doesn’t mean we can’t have fun and enjoy life. It’s one of the perks of vampirism.” 

Elena went over to sit on her bed as they talked. “How come you’ve never talked to me like this before? This whole open and nice thing.”

“I have. In Atlanta,” he pointed out. 

“Oh. Right,” she’d forgotten about that due to everything else that was going on. “But why don’t you do it more often?”

“Because I usually avoid people when I’m in these kinds of moods,” Damon shrugged as he went to sit on the end of the bed across from her. 

“Why? I like you this way.”

“And that’s the problem,” Damon told her. When she looked confused, he explained. “Because when people get me this way, they like it and then they start to expect it and I become a slave to those expectations. Trying to live up to them just puts me more and more on edge until I snap and lose everything.”

“So this is just pretending then and you can’t keep pretending for too long?” Elena asked confused and curious. 

“No, this is as much me as anything else, it’s just…one thing you have to understand about vampires is that we’re slaves to our moods. It’s part of the whole enhanced emotions thing. This is me. But so is the temperamental jerk. And the emotional wreck. And the violent monster. And the introspective academic. It all depends on my mood.”

“But all you ever let people see are the jerk and the monster…why?”

“Because then they don’t expect any better from me and they don’t get close. Humans are a lot more…one-dimensional than vampires. They don’t adapt well to the changes in moods and I’ve learned the hard way that getting close never works.”

“But you got close to me,” she pointed out. 

Damon shrugged. “You kinda snuck up on me.” 

Elena couldn’t help but smile at that. It meant something. She couldn’t figure out exactly what yet, but definitely something. “How about we make a deal,” she suggested. 

“What kind of deal?” he asked suspiciously. 

“You give me back my necklace and let me keep my memories. Give me a chance to know all the different parts of you. And I’ll try to be more open-minded and accepting of you as a whole and won’t try to force any kind of expectations on you.”

Damon considered that for a long moment before nodding and handing her back her necklace. Letting her remember his emotional outburst was definitely out of character for him, but even the chance of someday getting everything he dreamed of made it worth it. He wasn’t going to pretend though. She could either accept him as is or not at all. “I can live with that.”

“A few ground rules though,” Elena told him as she took the necklace back. 

Damon gave her a look bordering on betrayed and proud. That was very well played. Waiting until she got the necklace back before throwing out rules. “I’m listening.”

“One…the people I care about are off limits. No matter how bad your temper gets or how violent you’re feeling. You hurt someone I love and I can and will take it out on you.” 

“Fair enough,” Damon agreed. He’d made that mistake before and didn’t plan on doing it again. 

“Two…you have to give me back any other memories you’ve taken away from me, if there are any.” 

Damon sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine, but you’ll have to give me the necklace back first.”

“Nice try,” she smirked, setting it on her bedside table. “Remember that I’m trusting you to do what you say,” she said pointedly before she let it go. She knew that he could be trusted for the most part, but the reminder never hurt. 

Damon nodded and leaned forward to look deep into her eyes and compelled, “Remember.” 

Elena blinked a few times as a memory came back to her, and definitely not one she was expecting. It was actually a nice memory. Not him covering up something bad he did or an argument they had. She had met him first. He had been a kind stranger that told her that he wanted her to get everything she wanted out of life. She actually chuckled a bit as something dawned on her. “So not only do you avoid people when you get in these moods, but you compel them to forget when you can’t.” 

Damon shrugged sheepishly. “It’s easier that way.” 

Elena rolled her eyes and reached for his hand, giving it a companionable squeeze. “Sometimes it’s more rewarding in the end to do things the hard way.”

Damon found himself captivated by her eyes as his heart jumped to his throat. “I hope so,” he breathed out.


	2. Chapter 2

Elena pulled her hand away and gave him a shaky smile, feeling the emotion in the room skyrocket to a level that made her comfortable, but she didn’t want to push him away again, so she just changed the subject. “Stefan doesn’t seem as…moody as you describe.” 

Damon chuckled. “Are you remembering what happened at the pageant a few months ago? What he was like on the human blood?” 

Elena had to admit that he had a point. Stefan had been all over the place then. “So it’s because of the human blood?” she guessed. 

“No,” Damon shook his head. “It’s because he has to work so hard to keep control when he’s off the human blood. He represses himself so deep that his true personality is buried. Remember when I told you that just because he doesn’t want to be like me doesn’t mean that he isn’t deep down?” 

Elena nodded thoughtfully. “You also said that he lets the blood control him instead of controlling it, but how is that different from what you do with the whole letting yourself get lost in your moods?” she asked curiously, keeping any judgement from her voice. 

“Blood and moods are two very different things. I am /always/ in control of my bloodlust. Well except for when I’m locked up and starved for a week, but I think I get a pass on that one,” Damon said wryly, getting a sheepish nod from Elena who remembered her part in the most recent instance of that. “Moods and personality are a different story. Even then I rarely lose all control like I did the night I killed our brother. Usually I’m able to measure my responses to some degree.”

“What was different about that night?” Elena asked, not really wanting to think about it, but needing to understand. 

“A lot of things,” Damon sighed. “First, the fact that I was drunk didn’t help, but it wasn’t really the main factor. The fact that I let myself get close to someone for the first time in what seems like forever only to be rejected. The way Katherine had me so spun out and then you unknowingly said the exact same thing she said, though she intentionally used it to twist the knife in my heart and I know that you didn’t.”

“What did I say?” 

“That ‘it will always be Stefan’. Though when she said it the statement included, ‘why would anyone choose you when they could have Stefan’,” he said with a wince. 

Elena winced at that too and she could definitely see how he would lose it at that. It didn’t make what he did right, but the emotion he felt was understandable. She reached for his hand again. “I’m sorry, Damon. You know I didn’t mean it like that. She’s just a bitch.” 

Damon turned his hand over and gave hers a squeeze. “I know. And once my head cleared I got that. It was just…”

“I get it,” she assured him when he was having trouble finding the words. “I mean, I hate what you did with it, but I get it.” 

Damon found himself wondering if maybe it really was possible for her to accept him as is. As long as he kept people she cared about out of it anyway. “I really did regret it as soon as I did it, you know. Sobered me up on the spot. I have never been so glad that ring existed in my life.”

“I know,” she told him. She had been mad at him for a long time, but she knew that now and had faith in him not to make the same mistake again. She found herself getting lost in the moment again and jerked her hand away. She could see him twitch as if he wanted to hold on, but he let her go. “So when you said that Stefan deserved me, you mean because he’s being all repressed and one-dimensional like a human so I could accept him?” she guessed. 

“Something like that,” Damon shrugged. “I mean, sure, he’ll eventually lose it again. He always does, but there’s no guarantee it’ll be anytime soon. And since I’m here now to keep an eye on him…”

Elena smiled at that and nodded in understanding. She still didn’t buy his uncaring attitude when they were drying Stefan out and learning more of their story gave her a lot of insight into both of them. Damon would help keep him straight. “Does that mean you’re staying for good?” she asked hopefully. 

Damon gave her a lop-sided smile. “I can’t say /always/ anything,” he threw her words back at her. “But for now, yes.” 

Elena chuckled and asked, “So…can I ask…what brought on this particular mood?” 

“Stefan apologized to me,” Damon said as his brow furrowed in confusion. 

“He’d never done that before?” 

“Not in so many words no. But something he said about just needing to say it and needing me to hear it for his own peace of mind got me thinking.”

“And you thought it could help your own piece of mind if you got things off your chest too, but because you’re you, you thought compelling me to forget it was the best way,” she teased gently. 

“I’m sure he would have compelled me too if I wasn’t immune,” he chuckled. 

“Speaking of compulsions…that other memory you compelled away…Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I have to ask. Just to be sure. I mean since it was only a few minutes before…” she bit her lip nervously. 

“Go ahead and ask,” Damon told her, having known this was coming ever since he gave it back to her.

“Did you have anything to do with my parent’s accident?” 

Damon looked her very seriously in the eyes, knowing that she knew he couldn’t lie to her that way. “No, Elena. I didn’t.” 

She let out a breath of relief and smiled at him. “Thank you. And I’m sorry I asked. It’s just…you were laying in the road that night and I know that’s how you do and the bridge was so close and…”

“I understand, Elena. Really. I don’t blame you for asking. But the truth is that I took off after meeting you. I was more than a little unsettled by that meeting and needed to get away. Even if I hadn’t, I would never have caused the accident knowing that you were in the car.” 

“But if I hadn’t been?” 

“It wouldn’t have been the first accident I’ve caused and I’ll probably cause a lot more,” he admitted honestly. “I would never have taken the risk with you in the car or with your parents even if you weren’t with them.” He wasn’t going to pretend to be something he wasn’t, but he wanted her to know that she was different and because of her, the people she loved were different. 

“But you still hurt Caroline. Knowing that she was my best friend,” she pointed out, not really sure how to react to his honest confession, but wanting to understand him more anyway. She had thought that he’d changed later, but if he would have been so careful with her even then, what was different. 

“Yes. Hurt her. And compelled the memory and pain away if you remember. But I didn’t kill her, and even went out of my way not to no matter how tempting it was sometimes,” he told her. 

Elena couldn’t help but laugh. Everyone was tempted to kill Caroline sometimes, and she was trying not to be judgmental here. He had been nice enough to take away the pain and scary memories at least. He couldn’t have known that she would become a vampire and get them all back. Yeah, he’d been a jerk, but so was everyone sometimes. “Thank you for not killing her at least,” she managed to say. “But no more hurting the people I care about either.” 

“Physically,” he agreed. “I can’t and won’t promise not to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“That’s fair,” she conceded. No one could be held to that kind of promise. “As much as I would love to talk some more with this Damon mood, I really am tired,” she said regretfully. 

Damon chuckled and got up. “I’m not surprised. You’ve had a tough day.” He grabbed her necklace from the side table where she’d forgotten it after he released his compulsion and slowly clasped it around her neck. “Maybe I’ll stop by the next time I’m in this kind of mood. Goodnight, Elena.” 

“Goodnight, Damon,” she said with a smile as he jumped out the window. He had given her a lot to think about regarding so many things. Herself, Stefan, Damon, vampires in general, morality, and probably even more that the other things were crowding out at the moment. Thankfully, her exhaustion overrode her whirling thoughts and she managed to get to sleep relatively quickly. Her dreams were a confusing jumble of a mess though.


	3. Chapter 3

Elena was woken up the next morning by her phone and resisted the urge to throw it at the wall. Once again, she was up and out the door earlier than she wanted or needed to be, but when Stefan said it was important, it usually was. She was a little testier than usual with Damon when he answered the door, but that was as much because of her mood as because of his lack of one. How the hell could he be so perky and completely put together when he was up at least as late as she was last night? He even smelled fresh from the shower she realized as she walked by. It had to be another of those vampire perks he mentioned. 

Learning the story, just made her even more irritated and maybe even a little scared. She could tell that Stefan was getting annoyed with Damon for making light of it, but she was glad that he was. It was keeping her level and while she got the whole better safe than sorry thing, the last thing she needed was to completely freak out. By the end of the conversation, she knew what she needed to do, and she also knew that she needed to get rid of Stefan to do it. There was a conversation she needed to have with him anyway that should do the trick at least. She asked him to follow her outside so they could talk. She knew it was pointless. The two vampires in the house would be able to hear them no matter how far they got, but the illusion of privacy was the important thing. 

Once they were outside she took a deep breath and started the conversation. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea after how I greeted you yesterday. While I’m beyond grateful that you came to save me, we’re still broken up.” 

”You said it was because you need to feel safe and know that your family is safe. I thought since what happened proved otherwise…”

“Yes, that was part of it, and at the time it was the most important part, but it wasn’t the only reason,” she told him. It was a bit of a lie. Her other reasons didn’t crop up until last night. “I just don’t know what I want right now or whether we can even work long term.”

“Isn’t that the whole point of a relationship?” Stefan asked. “To figure those things out?” 

“Yes, but it only works if you’re at least half sure that it’s what you want. Right now, I’m not. I’m not saying that won’t change in the future, but I have too much that I need to figure out for me for it to be   
fair to string you along,” she explained. 

Stefan sighed and nodded. “I understand,” he told her. 

“That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be your friend. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be involved in all this. I mean…I’m involved anyway apparently for some reason, but you know what I mean. I just…hope it’s okay if I still hang around.”

“Of course,” Stefan assured her. He got the need to figure yourself out and if he could keep his foot in the door for when she did then all the better. He would rather have her friendship than nothing. 

“Thank you, Stefan. Now I need to get to school and I’m sure you have more stuff to handle here,” she said, giving him a hug before she left. She called Caroline on the way to meet her at the tomb to open the door. She needed answers and only one person had them. 

Damon couldn’t help but be a bit impressed by Elena’s maturity in that conversation. He would have expected her to keep stringing Stefan along until she figured out for sure what she wanted. He refrained from saying anything about the conversation when Stefan came back in, but he didn’t stay long and Damon was left with Rose. Typical. He was always left with the hard part. Running down the leads, putting the puzzle together. Just because his brother had to go play high school student for the two dozenth time. On the bright side, he was rarely bored. 

Another bright side, Rose was great in the sack. Damon didn’t often get a chance to be with other vampires. One had to be careful scorning people who could and would kill you on the spot and couldn’t be compelled. At least they both knew it didn’t mean anything, though how the hell she managed to see through him and figure out his feelings for Elena so easily baffled him. At least her buddy had come through with a way to save her. 

The next morning, after a brief talk with Katherine, he and Stefan headed to Elena’s to discuss the plan. He had to admit that she had poked some pretty big holes in it and couldn’t blame her for not wanting to go through with it, but until they had a better idea, it was the best they had. At least they had a fighting chance that way. Without the moonstone, they had nothing. She wouldn’t listen though and just went to school. Again. Supposedly. He wasn’t sure how much he believed that given what happened yesterday, but there were worse things she could do than interrogate Katherine. At least she knew better than to go in there. 

When he got the call from Rose about what she was really up to, he was livid. He left Stefan and Bonnie to handle the moonstone business and drove like a bat out of hell down to Richmond, just praying that he could get there in time. He was more than surprised by the way things turned out, but in this case that was a good thing. It didn’t make him any less pissed at Elena for what she tried to pull though and he spent the entire ride home seething and she seemed to be doing the same. Neither of them spoke until they got to her porch. “Thank you for bringing me home,” she said, trying to break the ice.

“Well your ride left you. I didn’t want to leave you stranded,” he said tensely. That and he didn’t want to give her another chance to pull a stunt like that.

“She was just scared. She didn’t mean to run,” Elena tried to defend her.

“Yes, she did,” Damon snapped. “She’s been running for five hundred years.”

“I can’t believe Elijah’s still alive. Why do you think he killed those two vampires and then just…let us go?” she tried to get something from him that wasn’t laced with anger.

“If I had a dollar for every time some evil vampire surprised me.” She finally gave up on calming him down and realized it was a lost cause for the night, so she went for the door only for him to grab her arm. “What you did today was incredibly stupid,” he said heatedly.

“Actually, the only thing that was stupid was that I got caught,” she replied in the same tone, trying to pull her arm away from him. “I don’t question why you try so hard to save me. You shouldn’t question why I would try to save you.”

Damon took a few deep breaths for calm, forcibly reminding himself that she was young and thus, naïve. “And why on earth would you think that this stupid stunt would save anyone?” 

“Klaus wants me. He needs me to break the curse. That gives me leverage,” she pointed out. 

“Let’s say you’re right,” Damon told her. “Which is a long shot as it is. You turn yourself in, then he has you. No deal necessary. Where’s your leverage there?” 

“I don’t…um…” Elena faltered realizing that he was right. “But if he doesn’t have a reason to hurt anyone…”

“But he does have a reason, Elena,” Damon sighed. “He’s not going to leave any threats at his back. He’s not stupid. Sure, your human family might be safe, and that’s a big might, but me and Stefan? He’ll take us out in a heartbeat. We’re a threat to him and he won’t risk us coming after him for revenge. Caroline? Also a threat. She’s a vampire too. Bonnie? Biggest threat of all. The last of the Bennett witches with all that power and knowledge at her disposal? No way he lets her live.” 

“I could bargain the location of the moonstone for your lives,” she countered. 

“And on what planet do you think you could trust him to live up to any bargain?” Damon asked incredulously. “He’ll get what he wants from you and then turn around and do whatever he wants anyway. He’s a crazy vampire, Elena. He can’t be trusted.” 

“You’re a vampire too. You saying you can’t be trusted?” she replied stubbornly. 

Damon rolled his eyes. “You can trust me because I love you. Your friends and family can trust me to a lesser degree for the same reason. Any random stranger in the street would be an idiot to trust me. Someone that I wanted dead anyway? Even stupider.” He could see that he was starting to get through to her. “Listen carefully, Elena. Getting yourself killed will save no one. It will only doom us all even more.” 

“I don’t know what else to do, Damon,” she deflated, tears welling in her eyes. 

Damon reached out and put his hands on her shoulders. “You fight, Elena. Our best chance of surviving is by working together. We will find a way, but until then, we have to keep fighting. Okay?” 

Elena grabbed Damon in a hug as her tears started to fall, and this time he actually hugged her back and ran a hand through her hair soothingly. She desperately hoped that he was right. When she heard the door open she pulled away, wiping her eyes. By the time she got a good look at Jeremy’s state, Damon was already asking, “What now?”


	4. Chapter 4

Damon stood there like a rock, letting Elena pummel him and yell at him until she wore herself out. Once she was done, he leaned forward for emphasis and said firmly, “Now…you fight half that hard for yourself and we might have a shot at this.” When he saw that click in her eyes he let her go and took a step back. He still had to stop her from going into the tomb before she stormed out. After a promise to Stefan to keep her safe, he followed her and got to her house first. “We’ll get him out,” he made another promise to her as she came into her room. 

“How?” she asked desperately. 

“I don’t know yet. But I’ll keep him stocked with his bambi blood and such until we figure it out,” Damon told her. “But that gets so much harder to do if I have to keep following you around to keep you from uselessly martyring yourself.” 

Elena sighed and plopped on her bed. “Fine. I get it. No more martyr stuff,” she agreed. 

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Elena,” he warned her. 

“I know,” she nodded. 

“Goodnight, Elena,” he said before disappearing back out the window. Now that he had that assurance he could turn his mind towards other problems. 

“Was that Damon I just heard?” Bonnie asked as she came in. 

“Yeah. He wanted to stop by and let me know that he was going to find a way to get Stefan out,” Elena told her. 

“Oh?” Bonnie asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“What?” Elena asked, seeing that Bonnie had something on her mind. 

“Are you and Damon together?” 

“What? No. Why would you even ask that?” Elena asked in shock. 

“You know your front door isn’t that thick. We could hear you two talking,” Bonnie said pointedly. 

“And?” Elena tried to think of what about that conversation could have given her the idea that they were together. 

“He said that he loved you.” 

“Oh.” She hadn’t even realized it at the time. It had just been so matter-of-fact that she didn’t notice. “I guess he figures that since I know now and it’s out in the open there’s no point hiding it.” 

“So that’s not the first time he’s told you that?” Bonnie asked. “Is that why you and Stefan broke up?” 

“No, Stefan and I broke up because the whole dating a vampire thing is complicated and I don’t know if it’s worth it for me and until I figure that out, it’s not fair to him to keep it going.” 

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. So to make sure I understand…no vampire dating with Stefan OR Damon?” 

“Not right now, no. I might change my mind at some point, but for the moment, I’m taking a step back from the whole thing to get some perspective,” Elena told her. 

“Good. That’s good,” Bonnie said relieved. “Well…goodnight Elena.” 

“Night Bonnie,” Elena said before getting into bed and turning off the light. She couldn’t get her mind off what Bonnie mentioned about her and Damon though. There were definitely feelings there as she had implied to him, but dating a vampire was still complicated. Even more with him than with Stefan. Before she even considered the idea with either of them she needed more information, but that would apparently have to wait for some more down time and for Damon to be in one of his open and thoughtful moods and who knew when those two events would coincide again.

The thought of asking Stefan crossed her mind, but he had a tendency to either brush off her questions or make them more dramatic than they needed to be. Damon just gave her the facts and let her draw her own conclusions. He’d been like that in Atlanta too. It was kinda nice to be honest. She liked being allowed to make up her own mind. 

Damon woke up to a text from Bonnie about the latest keep Elena safe plan and he snorted in amusement. He would imagine that Elena was taking that oh so well. After a quick confab it was decided that he would be babysitting Elena to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid. Like she could locked in the house, but hey. He wasn’t going to turn down spending some time with Elena either way. He couldn’t resist a few teasing barbs as he came in and plopped down on the couch next to her, swinging his arm over the back of the couch. 

“I promised you that I wouldn’t do the martyr crap anymore, Damon,” she said irritated. 

“You did. And I trust you. But this isn’t my doing,” Damon pointed out. 

“Then make them let me out,” Elena snapped. 

“I think you’re forgetting the part where no one here likes me. How exactly do you expect me to make them do anything? Unless you’re giving me permission to threaten and/or torture, because that I can do,” he partially joked. 

“No, Damon,” she said quickly before letting out a huff of breath. “I hate being locked up like this.”

“Well that is what happens when you try to get yourself killed,” Damon chuckled. “Can I ask you something?” he turned serious. 

“Not like I have anything better to do,” Elena shrugged, still frustrated. 

“When have I ever made your choices for you?” he asked affronted. It had been nagging at him since she said it. 

“What do you mean?” Elena asked confused. 

“Yesterday, you said that Stefan and I make all your decisions for you,” Damon reminded her. 

“It’s just…you both always try to keep me away from anything the slightest bit dangerous and it’s frustrating.”

“Like when I argued for you to be bait for an angry vampire at a school dance? Or when I took you into a tomb full of starving vampires? Or let you confront my brother when he was high on human blood?” Damon asked pointedly. 

“Well, that’s…”

“And about your decisions, let’s talk about who called all the shots opening the tomb in the first place. I thought it was a bad idea. I didn’t trust the witches, but I ended up almost getting sealed in there myself by following your plan. When you asked me to trust you and hand over the Gilbert device, I did. And I almost died because of it. But I still let you make the decisions. Locking Stefan up when he was on human blood…your call. Just because I object to recklessly stupid, doesn’t mean I try to control you.” 

Elena scrambled for purchase, not wanting to admit just yet that he was right. “You took me to Atlanta against my will.”

“You were unconscious, Elena. You didn’t object. And by the time you woke up and did, we were almost there. Was I supposed to drive ten hours back here to drop you off and then make the trip again? Once we were there, did I try to make you do or not do anything?”

“Well…what about when we went to rescue Stefan then? From the house full of vampires.”

“That falls under recklessly stupid,” Damon said heatedly. “You expect to walk into a house with up to two dozen vampires that can hear your heartbeat from half a mile away, move faster than you can see, and wouldn’t hesitate to kill you in a split second.”

“But I did go in and it was okay,” she pointed out. 

“Because you got lucky,” Damon snapped. “Because there were fewer than I thought. Because I had taken out enough that the others were distracted. Because the guard was complacent and I got there just in time to keep him from ripping your head off.”

“If I hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t have been able to get Stefan down with the vervain on the ropes,” Elena argued. 

“Yes I would have. It would have hurt like a bitch, but I could’ve done it. I’ve done it before. Instead, I had to go back in there. Ric and I almost died trying to serve as a distraction to get you out of there. If it had just been me, we could have been out before they even noticed.” When he saw her floundering for another argument, he pushed. “Go ahead. Tell me another time that I’ve made a decision for you?” 

“I…um…” 

They were interrupted by Damon’s phone ringing and after a very tense conversation, he turned back to Elena as Jeremy came into the room. “Change of plans…you babysit,” he told Jeremy before turning to Elena. “You know, you should get out…enjoy the sun…oh wait. You can’t,” he laughed, dodging the pillow that Elena threw at him as he headed out. 

Elena shoved Jeremy to the floor and pouted, but couldn’t get her mind off what Damon said. She realized that she had been unfair to him. He was right. Her choices had nearly gotten him killed more than once but he still let her make them. She owed him an apology.


	5. Chapter 5

It was the next night before Damon stopped by again, keeping his sort of implied promise that he would come over when he was in another thoughtful mood. “Stefan’s doing okay. I thought you might want to know,” he told her as she came in from his spot laying in her bed. 

“You saw him?” she asked hopefully. 

“I told you that I’d make sure he has what he needs until we can get him out,” Damon reminded her. 

“Right. Okay. Thanks,” she let out a relieved breath. “Did he…ask about me?” 

“He asked me to keep you away from there if that’s what you mean,” Damon huffed a laugh. 

“What? Why?” she asked hurt. 

“Because he’s worried that you’ll be too tempted or reckless enough to come inside. Because he doesn’t want you to see him like that. Because…I don’t know. But that’s what he wants,” Damon shrugged. 

Elena sighed and went over to sit on the bed next to him, guessing that he was in the mood to talk since he had made himself comfortable and not made any move to leave yet. “Do you think Stefan and I have a chance?” she asked curiously, testing the waters. 

“Let me answer that with another question. Do you want to be a vampire?” 

“No,” Elena shook her head. “I mean…probably not. Maybe.” She thought for a minute. “You know…no one has ever asked me that before. They always just assumed that I wouldn’t want it and I just went along with it.”

“Well the answer to that question will be the answer to your relationship struggles,” Damon pointed out. 

“What do you mean?” 

“If you don’t become a vampire, any relationship you have with one is doomed,” he told her. “I mean…think about the future you would have if you stayed human. You would have to uproot and move away every couple decades when people noticed that he wasn’t aging. By the first time, you would look old enough to be his mother. People would talk. You’d be the gossip of the town. By the time after that…when you’re old enough to be his grandmother…it would be even worse. You’d never have a stable home. You’d never have a family. Friends would have to either be let in on the secret or left behind every time you move. And then eventually, you would be too old and sick to enjoy it while he would still be just as young and vibrant as he is now.”

Elena sighed heavily and nodded. It made sense. She remembered Lexi’s boyfriend saying that she turned him so they could be together forever. She hadn’t completely understood the complexities behind that until now. But Damon loved her too. “So…you want me to be a vampire then?” 

Damon gave her a wry smile. “I told you once, and still mean it, I want you to get everything you’re looking for out of life, Elena. Human or vampire, it’s your choice.”

“But you…love me,” she had trouble getting those words out. “And if human vampire relationships are doomed…”

Damon huffed a laugh. “Which is why I want you to be happy.”

“I’m sorry, Damon,” she said sadly. “About what I said the other day about you making decisions for me. You don’t, and it wasn’t fair of me to say that you did.”

“Apology accepted,” he gave her a brief smile. 

“Why do you love me?” she couldn’t help but ask. 

Damon’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Huh?” 

“I mean…you mentioned me being immature before, I’m human and will likely be staying that way, I make decisions that put you in danger…”

Damon rolled his eyes. “I never said immature. I said young. Hell, you’re more mature than I am in a lot of ways, but there are some things that you can only figure out with time.”

“Okay, but the rest…I mean…Is it just because I look like Katherine?” Elena voiced her biggest worry. 

“No, Elena,” Damon shook his head. “Not in the slightest. You are everything that Katherine isn’t.”

“Then why…”

“You mean beyond the whole, you can’t choose who you love thing?” he turned to look up at her. 

“Yeah. Other than that. I mean, there must be something…” she picked at her blanket, not meeting his eyes. 

“You’re strong. Stronger than you have any right to be. Everything that you’ve been through, you rise above and keep fighting. You go toe to toe with vampires every day and don’t hesitate to tell them off. Why do you think it pissed me off so much when you tried to give up? Because that’s not you. You don’t give up. You don’t just roll over and die. You fight.” 

Elena felt a smiled blossoming against her will as she huffed at that. “I don’t think you realize how scared I still am.”

“Of course I do. You’d be an idiot not to be and you’re not an idiot. But you do it anyway and that’s what makes you strong. Any human who can take on all this…is something truly remarkable,” Damon told her with an encouraging smile. 

“So that’s it? Just because I’m strong?” She had no idea what to say to that, so she moved on. 

“And opinionated, compassionate, and…somehow you managed to see something worth saving in me.” 

“You’re always worth saving, Damon,” her eyes snapped up to his, ignoring how comfortable he looked in her bed. 

“And that’s what makes you different from anyone else. You know…when we were in Atlanta…no one’s ever fought for me before.”

“What do you mean?” she asked worriedly. Surely someone has cared at some point. 

“Just what I said. Anyone else would have taken the chance and run away. But you didn’t. You fought for me. /Me/. The evil, selfish, cruel, Damon Salvatore. You cared. You begged for my life. That…meant something to me.” 

Elena took a moment to consider his words and think about what she knew about his life. He’d loved Katherine, but she left him as soon as it was convenient. Stefan…he’d spent most of their lives trying to stay away from Damon, for good reason, but still. Hearing him say that no one had ever cared though…it was hard to hear. It was no wonder he was the way he was. “You deserve to be saved as much as anyone, Damon. You’re a good man.”

“No, I’m not,” he argued matter-of-factly. “Don’t mistake this version of me for all that I am. I /can/ be nice. Sometimes. But I’m not the good guy, Elena, and I never will be.” This was exactly why he never wanted her to see this side of him in the first place. 

She realized what he was thinking and rushed to correct him. “No, I know that. I know that you have your dark sides and that they will always be there. I know that you hurt people and kill people. I know that you have a temper and that violence is always your first instinct when faced with a problem. I get all that.”

“Then how can you sit there and claim that I’m a good guy?” he asked incredulously. 

“Because you’re more than that too,” she told him. “You feel, whether you want to admit it or not. You care. About me. About Stefan. You love. Anyone capable of that can never be all bad. Just because you’re not all good, doesn’t mean you’re all bad either. You can be both.” 

Damon needed to get some distance from the emotion in the air. “Even though I’m a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities?” he threw at her. 

Elena smirked, seeing exactly what he was trying to do, but she wasn’t the only one who said things they didn’t mean in the heat of the moment. “Even though I’m a liar and just as manipulative as Katherine?” 

Damon blinked at her for a moment before he laughed. “Touché.” 

“So what you said before about vampires and their moods…how do relationships work then? Like…if you’re in a jerk mood and she’s in a nice mood or something.”

“Just because the moods are more extreme doesn’t mean it has to be any different from with humans. If you’re in a good mood and Bonnie’s in a bad mood, sometimes her bad mood will rub off on you and sometimes you’ll cheer her up or sometimes one of you might walk away for a while until you get over it. It’s the same kind of thing,” Damon explained with a shrug.

“Okay. That makes sense. Can you tell me…what’s Stefan like when he’s not…you know…repressing?” 

Damon sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “That’s a complicated question. Stefan is a study in extremes.”

“And you’re not?” she chuckled. 

“Not even close,” Damon replied amusedly. “Okay, you know about his whole ripper thing now, so I’ll try to explain. He’ll go on a massive killing spree, throw big parties and slaughter everyone in attendance, drinking, drugs, the whole deal. Then, after a while, he snaps out of it and drowns in guilt until it nearly kills him. What you saw a few months ago…that was a much lesser version of the real thing. No one actually died, so it wasn’t nearly as bad. He’s either on top of the world or a complete wreck. He doesn’t have middle ground.” 

Elena nodded thoughtfully. She could see that and Damon definitely wasn’t like that. Sure he went extreme every once in a while, by that criteria, but he didn’t stay there for long and he didn’t drown himself in guilt afterwards. His moods to a human might be a little extreme, but from the little she saw with Stefan during that time, he was almost levelheaded and that was saying something. Once again, Damon had given her a lot to think about. “Thanks for keeping me company and answering my questions,” she said with a smile. 

“You’re welcome,” Damon smirked, getting the hint that the conversation was over. He rolled out of her bed and tossed her the teddy bear. “Goodnight, Elena.” Elena huffed at the way that he was gone before she could even respond and just climbed into bed and went to sleep, mentally thanking Damon for the warm spot he left.


	6. Chapter 6

Elena didn’t see Damon the next day, but she wasn’t surprised. Things had gotten pretty heavy last night and he probably needed as much distance as she did. What she was surprised about was to see Elijah. When he offered her a deal, she didn’t see much choice but to accept. For the moment, he wasn’t asking anything more than what she would be doing anyway. She did catch the loophole in his deal though. He would keep her friends and family safe, but he said nothing about her. It was best to go along with it until another option presented itself though. At least she managed to work it to get Stefan released from the tomb. 

Elena had expected Stefan to come see her once he was free, but when he didn’t she just figured that he was tired after dealing with Katherine for so long and went home to sleep. She would talk to him tomorrow. To both of them. They needed to know about Elijah. The next morning, she headed over to the Salvatore house first thing and was confused when no one was to be found. She decided to look around first before calling them. She heard crying when she got upstairs and was more than a little worried and followed it to one of the biggest bedrooms she’d ever seen, stopping short at the sight of Rose looking like hell and Damon sitting in bed next to her holding her tightly. 

When she cleared her throat, Damon startled, which told her something was horribly wrong. Damon never let his guard down enough to be snuck up on by a loud human. As he’d said before, he could even hear her heartbeat from a mile away. “What’s wrong?” 

“Rose was bit. By a werewolf,” Damon told her and she could hear the barely restrained rage in his voice along with the fear and hurt. “Will you…stay with her for a while? I need to…”

Elena nodded and put her hand on his arm as he walked by. “Be careful, Damon.” She wasn’t going to tell him not to be pissed, or not to go after revenge or even not to kill anyone. It wasn’t her place to. But she didn’t want him to end up in bed like this either. He gave her a curt nod and walked out. 

Elena headed over to the bed, unable to keep from looking around the room in awe. “You’ve never been in Damon’s room before, have you?” Rose asked weakly amused. This was Damon’s room? Elena took in the art on the walls, the stacks of books, the elegant furniture…if this was his taste she could see why he found the downstairs kitschy. She picked up the top book from one of the stacks and couldn’t help a snort when she saw that it was Gone With the Wind. “Not what you expected?” Rose asked. 

“Maybe I expected there to be silk sheets,” she joked. 

Rose laughed weakly. “You’re lucky you know. No one’s ever loved me the way you’re loved.” 

Elena hated that. Why did people keep telling her things like that? First no one had ever cared about Damon before, now Rose. Was that a hazard of being a vampire or something? When Rose told her that the idea of family wasn’t compatible with being a vampire, it also gave Elena a lot to think about. And one of these days she would get a free moment to actually think about all these things that were piling up. That obviously wasn’t going to be today though, since one minute Rose was on her case about giving up and the next she was being attacked and Rose was hallucinating. 

Finding Rose had taken a while and by that time she was so much worse off. Damon sent her out when Rose started convulsing, but she didn’t go far. She got out of the room and leaned against the wall, taking a few deep breaths. God, she hoped that when she died it wasn’t like that. A sad smile twitched onto her face when she heard Damon talking about how mean he was. When all sound from the room stopped, she couldn’t help but look in. She had to know if it was over. She could see the slow rise and fall of Rose’s chest though as she leaned back against Damon, who was holding her gently, her hand in his and his chin resting on her head. Both their eyes were closed, but Elena wanted to know how Rose was, so she crept silently over and placed a hand on Damon’s arm to get his attention. 

The moment she was in contact with his skin, she found herself looking at a field with horses and spotted Damon and Rose sitting in the sun and she smiled. This looked like the place Rose described that she had missed almost as much as she’d missed the sun. Rose was wrapped in Damon’s arms as she told him that it didn’t hurt anymore, and Elena felt like she was intruding. She removed her hand from Damon’s arm and left the room, letting them have their goodbye. When Damon walked out the front door, carrying her body, and not even noticing her in the living room, she could see the tear tracks on his cheeks and knew that she had to wait. She had to make sure he was okay. 

She spent most of the time he was gone lost in thought, working through at least a few of the things on her mind. Mainly Damon’s protests that he wasn’t a good guy and honestly, she could see why he thought that way. She could see why other people thought that way too. She just disagreed. What he had done for Rose was beautiful, and he cared so much. More than he would ever admit to, she knew. She got why he hid how caring he was. After what Katherine had done to him, and apparently no one else had ever cared…caring was a liability. It gave people the power to hurt him. She still hated that he ever had a need to protect himself like that. 

It was why she was able to see right through him when he got back. She tried to push a little. To get him to let her in, but he refused. She could see that he was reaching his breaking point, so knew that the best thing for her to do was to leave him to it. Let him fall apart alone where he was comfortable. She still had to make sure that he knew that she cared though, so she wrapped him in a comforting hug, not at all surprised that he didn’t hug her back. She wondered if that was part of his whole trying not to care thing. If he thought that giving in to the hug would break the walls that he kept so tightly wrapped around himself. Once she let go, she gave him a moment to change his mind about her leaving, but he didn’t. 

The next day, Damon was apparently feeling mostly back to normal because he and Stefan turned up at her house to berate her about the deal with Elijah. “How can you trust him, Elena?” Damon asked disappointedly. He thought they were past all that trusting random vampires crap after the talk they had. 

“I don’t,” she told him. “But tell me what I was supposed to do. He was invited into my house. Standing in my bedroom of all things. Was I supposed to turn down his deal and let him kidnap me or kill me on the spot?”

“What /exactly/ was the deal?” Stefan, ever the voice of reason, asked her. 

“I live my life as normal, he makes sure my friends and family are safe. That’s it,” she told them. “And yes, I noticed that my safety wasn’t a part of it.”

“And you’re just okay with that?” Damon asked incredulously. 

“Of course not. I’m not giving up, Damon, whatever you think. If we find another way, then great. But in the meantime, this deal is the best option,” she said stubbornly. 

“Just…don’t trust him Elena,” Stefan warned her. 

“We should get her out of here,” Damon pointed out. 

“What do you mean?” Elena asked, hoping that Damon intended to get her opinion on the matter. 

“Your family has a lake house right? One where Elijah hasn’t been invited into?” Damon asked. 

Elena considered that for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. I can head there for a few days, but I don’t see what good it will do.”

“I got a visit this morning which included the delivery of a weapon that will take out Elijah, but I need you out of the way. You’re right that your deal with him is the prudent option, so if we can keep you away from this in case something goes wrong…”

Elena got it. They wanted her to have plausible deniability. “But if you guys get hurt…”

“Stefan will be with you. I’ll handle Elijah,” Damon argued. 

“I don’t need a babysitter,” she said irritated. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Stefan interjected. “But the cabin doesn’t have heat, correct?” Elena nodded. “Which means we’ll have a fire going. Which means going in and out to get the firewood…”

“Which means every time I step foot out of the house, I’m vulnerable,” Elena sighed. “Fine. But let me make one thing clear. I will not be a prisoner in the house. And this is only until Damon’s plan is finished.” 

“Fair enough,” both brothers agreed. It was better than they expected. 

“And you…” she pointed at Damon. “If you get yourself killed, I will never forgive you. Understood?” 

Damon huffed a laugh and nodded. “Sure thing, Elena.” Like he would care if he was dead.


	7. Chapter 7

Elena was glad that she had made Damon tell her his plan at least before she and Stefan went on the trip. That way she was able to call and warn him off when she found the information about it in her family’s journals. Unfortunately, she was too late, but at least they had gotten lucky and his life was saved. Other than that hiccup though, her trip went well until the end. She and Stefan were finally able to spend some time together and figure out their new friendship and how they worked together on that level. Due to that and learning quite a bit more about his past, she felt closer to him than ever, and also more sure than ever that them being friends was the right thing.

She had plenty of time to think while they were away too, and Stefan was one of the things on her mind. She knew that she had two choices when it came to him. Either stay friends, or become a vampire to be with him. She was no closer to a conclusion on whether or not she wanted to be a vampire, but she did know that being with him wasn’t in the cards, vampire or not. Both he and Damon had told her now that he would fall off the wagon eventually. And get back on. And fall back off. That was just how his life was, and she didn’t think she could handle that. It was a rollercoaster that she didn’t want to be a part of. Not that closely. There was a big difference between helping a friend and helping a lover when it came to things like that. 

Even the leveled out version of him that he was now on the animal blood wasn’t right. The more she looked the more she could see that Damon was right. This wasn’t Stefan. This was a deeply repressed shell and she couldn’t live with that either. She wanted to be with someone that could actually be themselves. Someone that could relax around her and let her in. She had always hoped that in time he would be able to do that, but she could see now that it wasn’t an option for Stefan and it never would be. 

Another thing on her mind was Damon. There was no question that there were feelings there, and in a normal situation she would already be with him and letting their relationship answer any questions about those feelings. This wasn’t a normal situation though. Damon was a vampire and unless she decided to become one too, they were doomed. He said that he wanted her to have everything she wanted out of life and she loved that about him, but until she knew what it was that she wanted, she had no idea where or even if he could fit into her life. 

There was so much more to him though than she had ever thought. He was like a rollercoaster too, but not quite as bad as Stefan. Or in some ways even worse. It was so hard to figure out. His tendency to lash out scared her, but his capacity for love was intoxicating. The depth of his emotions on both ends of the spectrum were like a magnet to her. Even when it was bad, she was still drawn to it. To him. The very idea of giving into it was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. She knew how much he loved her though. At least she knew that he did. She didn’t doubt that the depth of his feelings were beyond what she could ever comprehend. She couldn’t risk letting anything happen there until she was sure. At least more than half sure that she could give him forever. And that she could accept the bad along with the good. 

She could see how badly he needed to be loved though. How hurt he had been for so long. Just the comment about no one ever fighting for him before was enough to tell her that. He was a hundred and seventy years old and no one had ever fought for him. No one had ever valued him enough to fight. A very real part of her wanted desperately to fix that. To make sure that he would never doubt his value again. Jumping in before she was ready would just hurt them both in the end though. And probably break him even worse than he was already broken. Maybe even irrevocably. She would never be able to live with herself if she did that. 

Once she got home, things stayed relatively quiet. It felt like they were all in a holding pattern. The main drama was her birth parents trying to get involved in things. Stefan and Damon agreed that they had the right idea about one thing though and signed their house over to her which completely bowled her over. She tried to refuse at first until they explained that it would protect them just as much as it would her. Right now, any vampire could just walk into their house because it wasn’t owned by a human. Once that was out in the open, she easily agreed to the idea. Like she’d said before, she wanted to protect them just as much as they wanted to protect her. 

She was more than a little iffy about the plan they concocted around the sixties dance, but had to agree with them that it was their best shot. It felt weird going with two dates though. Stefan danced with her first while Damon scoped out the area, but when she saw Caroline arrive, she remembered that Caroline didn’t know what was going on, so Stefan went to warn her and spun her right into Damon’s arms. She marveled at how calm he was while she was freaking out and somehow he managed to make her feel better in no time. 

She also marveled at his dance moves. Stefan only ever danced under duress and he seemed like he was having fun. It was so much different than the only other time they’d ever danced together before. She even found herself having fun along with him. She ended up getting passed back and forth between the brothers a few times over the course of the night. Sometimes so that one of them could check the area and sometimes so they could check over parts of their plan with the other people in on it, but she wasn’t left alone for a second. She even admitted to Damon at one point that she was glad of that. She could never have admitted that to Stefan. He would have taken it as a green light to coddle her more, but she knew that Damon would get it. 

Her fun crashed and burned when the plan went into effect with disastrous consequences and it wasn’t until Damon came home that it dawned on her that he had to have known. When he freely admitted that he’d known that Bonnie would die and went through with it anyway, she couldn’t help but slap him. So maybe she had a temper too. It was understandable in this situation. She was too shellshocked to feel bad about it once he told her that Bonnie was okay and it wouldn’t be until much later when she registered what Damon had said when Stefan went after him. 

Once she shook it off, she headed upstairs to talk to him. She assured him that she understood why he did it but made it clear that she wouldn’t allow Bonnie to die for her before she apologized for hitting him. Sort of. He took it as an apology at least which was what counted. His words rocked her to the core though. “I will always. Choose. You,” he’d said. He would let anyone and everyone die if it meant saving her. She resisted the urge to ask if he included himself in that. She suspected what the answer would be and she was nowhere near in any shape to hear it right now. She couldn’t even handle what he’d already said, so she made her escape. She was coming closer to a decision, but she couldn’t deal with trying to make it right now. Once all this mess was over, she would figure it out. 

For now, she needed more information and there was only one person that could give her that information. She knew that Damon and Stefan would be pissed, but it was the only way. She pulled the dagger out of Elijah and managed to get the whole story. The truth about what curse needed to be broken and that’s when she realized that fighting it was futile. There was no way out for her. Period. Klaus would never stop until he was dead. And the only person that could kill him was Elijah and even then only when the ritual was at it’s peak. Meaning her death. She agreed to try the elixir that he had, but doubted that it would help. There were no more choices.


	8. Chapter 8

Jenna finding out about the whole supernatural thing was really the last thing she needed right now, but she had no choice but to deal with it. Along with discussing the plan for her death. There was so much going on that it took her a while to notice that Damon was missing. She headed up to find him, pausing in the doorway to his room when she saw him standing at the window, staring out of it. “You disappeared,” she said, trying to start a conversation. 

“I don’t want to hear anymore,” he said coldly, not turning to look at her. He couldn’t even stomach the idea of her dying. He’d thought losing Katherine was bad. This was going to actually kill him this time. 

“I need you to understand why I’m doing this,” she said, stepping into the room. 

Damon spun to look at her incredulously. “Why? Clearly doesn’t matter what I think.”

“I’ll be fine, Damon,” she said with a lot more confidence than she felt. “I’ll drink the elixir, Bonnie will kill Klaus, and then all this will finally be over.” 

“If it works,” Damon pointed out. 

“It will work,” she assured him. 

“You /think/ it will work. You /want/ it to work. Why am I the only one that’s convinced it won’t?” 

Because you’re a pessimist, Elena didn’t say, but her lips twitched at the thought. 

“There has to be another way,” Damon insisted.

“There isn’t,” Elena told him sadly. She wished there was too, but even if there was, there was no way they would find it in time. 

“You’re gonna die, Elena,” Damon said bluntly. She needed to hear that right now. To have it thrown in her face exactly what was going to happen to her. 

“And then I’ll come back to life.”

Damon walked towards her as he said desperately, “That is not a risk that I’m willing to take.” 

“But I am,” Elena said gently as she took his hand, wrapping it in both of hers. “It’s my life, Damon. My choice.” 

Damon’s breath hitched at the way she was holding his hand and her words cut him to the quick because he knew that he didn’t have any choices here. It was all in her hands and she was going to die and he was going to follow her. “I can’t lose you,” he whispered earnestly. 

“You won’t,” she assured him, taking a deep breath before setting her resolve. “But just in case…” She took a step closer and moved a hand to his cheek, looking into his scared and pain-filled eyes for a long moment before standing on her toes and pressing her lips to his. 

Damon swallowed heavily as she moved closer and couldn’t help but lean into her touch. His gaze fluttered between her eyes and her lips as he wondered if she was really going to do what he thought she was going to do. The minute her lips met his, he was responding eagerly. His hands went to her neck as his thumbs brushed her cheeks and it was a hundred times better than the similar kiss when Katherine had tricked him, because he could definitely tell the difference now. This was Elena. And she was kissing him. Of her own free will. Because she wanted to. He poured every ounce of devotion he felt for her into the kiss, using that to beg her not to leave him. Not to do this. Not to walk away. Ever. 

Elena lost the ability to breathe as Damon kissed her back and she got the answer to every question she’d been asking herself for the last month. Yes, she would give Damon forever. She would give him anything and everything he ever wanted because she loved him with every fiber of her being. She just had to get through this. Once this was over they could talk. Once the kiss ended, she didn’t go far and neither did he as their breaths mingled in the small space between them. When he breathed out her name pleadingly, she found the strength to pull back and look in his eyes. “You won’t lose me, Damon,” she whispered her promise. Now or ever. I’m yours. I love you. All the things that she couldn’t say yet, she hoped he understood from that simple statement. 

She pulled herself away and went to leave. There was still too much to do, no matter how badly she wanted to spend every second she had left with Damon. She was almost to the door when he was suddenly in front of her. “There is another way,” he told her and the look on his face made her nervous. 

“What do you…” She stopped when she saw him bite his wrist. “Damon, no…wait,” she tried to say, but his arm was over her mouth, forcing his blood down her throat. So much for her making her own choices. She was livid and tried to fight him, but for the first time ever he was completely overpowering her. The next thing she knew, she was falling to the floor and Damon was skidding across the room. 

“What did you do?” Stefan asked horrified as he went to help her up as she coughed. “Huh? What did you do?!” 

“Saved her life,” Damon said matter-of-factly before looking at her with an angry look. “You’re so bent on dying, at least this way I know you’ll come back.”

“As a vampire,” Stefan said getting up to face Damon. “She’ll come back as a vampire.”

“It’s better than nothing else,” Damon argued. 

“How could you of all people take that choice away from her,” Stefan asked incredulously. 

Damon looked at Elena said said, “Go ahead. Wish me an eternity of misery. Believe me, you’ll get over it.” When Stefan attacked him, Elena called for him to stop, but then Damon had Stefan pinned against the opposite wall. “Admit it. You just wish you had the balls to do it yourself,” he snarled at his brother. 

Elena watched helplessly as the two punched each other, but when Damon hit the floor and skidded away, she saw her opportunity and jumped in front of him, blocking Stefan with a hand on his chest. “No!” she snapped. “That’s enough! Both of you!” she turned to glare at Damon too, as he dropped piece of debris he’d picked up and dragged himself to his feet. Once she saw that they were both done, she turned back to Stefan. “Give us a few minutes please, Stefan?” 

Stefan sent one last glare at his brother, but asceded to her request, meeting Jenna and Ric in the hallway from where they’d tried to follow him up and he waved them off, keeping one ear on the conversation he was leaving behind. 

Once they were alone, Elena spun to Damon and slapped him as hard as she could, noticing that he actually winced this time which wasn’t surprising because his face looked like mincemeat, though it was slowly healing. “How could you?” she snapped. 

“I told you. I can’t lose you,” Damon said evenly. Especially after that. After that kiss and the almost promise she’d given. 

“What happened to my choice, Damon?” 

“Your choice was between human and vampire, Elena. Not between human and death,” Damon argued coldly. “And as I’ve said before, I don’t mind being the bad guy. I can live with that and you can hit me all you want for it. As long as you’re still alive at the end of the day, I don’t care.” 

“And what about you, Damon,” she argued. “If Klaus survives this and finds out what you did, we’re both dead.”

“You think I care?” Damon asked incredulously. “If I have to go down with you then so be it, but as long as I draw breath you will have every possible chance to survive. Even if it means I don’t.” 

Elena deflated at that and stepped towards him, taking his hand in much the same way she had before. “And you think I can live with that? I can’t lose you either, Damon.” 

He reached his other hand to brush her hair back behind her ear. “I’ve lived a long time already, Elena. You’ve barely lived a tenth of that time.” 

She knew that this conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere so she let it go at that and moved on. “You still had no right to take that choice away from me. You should have asked. I probably would have accepted it.” 

“And give the overprotective patrol downstairs and chance to rush up here and stop it?” Damon asked pointedly. 

Elena sighed. She could see his point, but still disagreed. “If it was my choice I would have made them accept it too.” 

“Better to not take the chance,” Damon shrugged unapologetically. 

“Please, Damon. Never do that again. And I don’t mean the blood part.”

“Then what…”

“Do you have any idea what it feels like to be completely overpowered like that? To be completely helpless at someone else’s mercy?” she asked desperately. 

Damon winced, both at her words and the fear that he could see in her eyes, both now and then. “I promise. And…I’m sorry for that part.” 

“Thank you,” she said with a weak smile, letting go of his hand and turning away to leave before she couldn’t. This time, Damon let her go, desperately hoping that he hadn’t blown the chance that he’d never expected to get.


	9. Chapter 9

When Elena got back downstairs, first she called Jeremy to get him over there too. She wanted to spend her last human day with her family. She spent the time waiting for him filling Jenna in on everything she didn’t know yet about vampires but Jeremy did. She waited until they were both there before telling them that she would most likely be a vampire after this ritual. She left out the fact that Damon had forced it on her. There was no need to make things difficult. She also begged them both to stay there that night and not leave the house. She needed to be sure that they would be safe. Jenna was more than a little nervous about staying in a home belonging to vampires the first night that she learned of them, and Jeremy wanted to be with Bonnie, but eventually they both agreed. 

Damon left right after Elijah did. He knew that he’d screwed up with Elena. And right after she’d given him some measure of hope for the future too. He really was an idiot sometimes. When he learned that Klaus had taken Tyler and Caroline though, he hoped that rescuing them might make up, in some small way, for what he did. At least enough to keep her friendship if nothing else, though he meant what he’d said. He wouldn’t blame her if she promised him an eternity of misery. It was only fair since he’d done the same to Stefan for the same thing. He would rather her be alive and hating him than dead. 

Unfortunately, he wasn’t quick enough and ended up bitten by the werewolf when he tried to protect Caroline. He resisted the urge to curse. It looked like there was no way he could be with Elena anyway. Even with her as a vampire with him. Even if he could earn her forgiveness for that. They truly were doomed. He would be dead in two days. Three at the most. At least she would survive. And she would still have everyone else she cared for. Losing Caroline would have hurt her just as much, if not more. 

As much as he hated the idea of being there for the ritual, he stayed close by. He needed to get to Elena’s body once everyone had cleared out. He didn’t recognize the vampire that was being used as a sacrifice, but he definitely did the werewolf and he gave a cruel grin. Jules would get what was coming to her after all. When Elena was placed into the ritual circle, he turned away, only to notice his brother coming up. Despite how far away they were, they knew if they spoke, the vampires below would hear them so he just gave Stefan a tight smile, getting a glare in response. 

Stefan knew that something was going on between Damon and Elena. He’d heard every word they’d said, and the emotion it was laced with. On both their parts. Damon didn’t surprise him given how long he’d loved Elena anyway, but it seemed as though Elena was feeling something for him now too. He was sure that was why his brother had made the insane decision to force vampirism on her. He probably hoped that with eternity to live, she would eventually forgive him and she probably would. Elena was far too forgiving for her own good. She had forgiven them both for the unforgivable more than once already. 

Unlike Damon, Stefan couldn’t tear his eyes away from the ritual. He felt like someone who cared should see her final moments. He couldn’t stop the wince when she died though or his shout of anger when Elijah saved Klaus at the last minute. It had all been for nothing. Klaus survived, and if he found out that Elena did too, he would probably be after her all over again. This was a nightmare. They still waited until everyone cleared out, and when Damon insisted on retrieving her body, Stefan headed back to the boarding house to make sure a room was ready for her. She would at least be staying for a few days. Maybe longer depending on how Jenna settled with the news once she came to terms with it. 

Damon picked up Elena’s body and carried her home, picking up a trail on his way upstairs to lay her down in the bed at the opposite end of his hallway. Once she was comfortably in bed, he reached out a hand to brush her hair back from her face before turning to all the hopeful faces. “Is she…” Jenna was the first to speak nervously. 

“When she wakes up, she’ll be in transition. I would suggest any humans not be in the room then, unless you’re volunteering to be her first meal,” Damon joked, trying to lighten the mood. 

“How long until it’ll be safe to be around her again?” Jeremy asked. 

“As long as another vampire is there as a chaperone, a few hours. Once she’s had a few blood bags and let them settle she should be good. Until you can be alone with her, a few days,” Damon explained. 

“The first few days are very difficult for a new vampire. They’re getting used to the hunger as well as enhanced emotions and senses. It’s very unsettling and they’re prone to emotional breakdowns including fits of rage,” Stefan added. 

“I would suggest giving her about a week or so before she goes home though. Just to be on the safe side. At least here, one of us can be there in an instant if something happens,” Damon suggested. “If she’s welcome back at home at all…” 

“Of course she is,” Jenna said appalled that he would even suggest otherwise. 

Damon let out a sigh of relief. “I’m sure she’ll be glad to hear that,” he smiled. At least this hadn’t ruined her entire life. 

“Once she’s safe that is,” Jenna had just enough fear to add. 

“She’ll understand that,” Stefan assured her. “And we’ll make sure that she’s safe before she comes home.” 

“I’ll go make her a daylight ring,” Bonnie told them now that it was official that she would be a vampire. Or dead if she chose not to complete the transition, but none of them wanted to consider that option. She mostly just wanted to get away from the tension in the room. 

“How long until she wakes up?” Ric asked curiously.

“Probably another hour or so,” Damon told them. “You’re welcome to sit with her until then. Stefan, a word?” He motioned Stefan from the room. 

Stefan followed his brother curiously down to his room where Damon closed the door behind him. “Listen, I don’t want Elena to know any sooner than she has to, but…” he pulled back his sleeve to show the already necrotizing bite on his arm. 

“Damon!” Stefan exclaimed worriedly, pulling his sleeve up farther. “What happened?” 

“Klaus was going to use vampire barbie and the big bad wolf for sacrifices, so I went to get them out. Unfortunately he turned quicker than expected so I took one for the team,” Damon explained. “When I’m gone…”

“I’ll make sure she’s okay,” Stefan promised, knowing what his brother was going to ask. The same thing he would have asked in his position. 

“Thank you, brother,” Damon said relieved. 

“But I’m not just going to let you die, either,” Stefan told him. 

“You don’t have a choice,” Damon pointed out. 

“The hell I don’t,” Stefan snapped. “Elijah and Klaus are still out there. If anyone knows about a cure, it’ll be them.”

“And risk bringing them right back here to see that Elena survived? Not a chance,” Damon shook his head. 

“Give me some credit, Damon,” Stefan said wearily. “I’ll be careful, but if I just let you die and didn’t do everything in my power to fix it, Elena would have my head too.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Damon said with a sigh. 

“Oh come on. She’s forgiven you for far worse. She’s forgiven us both for worse. You really think she won’t get over this?” 

“In the few days I have left? Not likely,” Damon pointed out. When he’d killed Jeremy it had taken a solid two weeks for her to even look at him again. 

“Just…hold on brother. I’ll figure it out,” Stefan promised. 

Before anything else could be said, Jeremy barreled into the room and Damon hastily rolled down his sleeve before the kid saw. “She’s waking up,” Jeremy told them. 

Stefan blurred to Elena’s side while Damon detoured to the basement to grab a few bags of blood. By the time Damon got up there, the humans were heading out of the room. They had already picked out rooms for the night and since it would be at least a few hours before they could see Elena anyway, they all decided to crash. It was two am after all. When Elena woke up in a panic, as every new vampire does, Stefan was the one to try and calm her. Damon was trying to keep her distance until he knew if he was forgiven. “Hey, it’s okay, Elena. You’re fine. We’re right here,” Stefan said gently.


	10. Chapter 10

Elena took a few deep breaths for calm. “Yeah. Okay,” she forcibly evened out her breathing. 

“It’s your choice what you do from here, Elena,” Stefan told her. “If you don’t want to complete the transition, no one will force you.” He turned to look at Damon sternly. “Will they?” 

“No,” Damon agreed through gritted teeth. 

Elena just gave him a long hard look before holding out her hand for the blood, and Damon handed over the three bags he’d brought. She opened one and started drinking without a word. Then the second, and the third before she couldn’t take anymore. That done, Stefan nodded and said, “I’ll give you two a minute.” He knew that his brother wanted a chance to apologize and try to earn some forgiveness before his death and Stefan had some research to do. He had some originals to find. 

Once they were alone, Damon took a deep breath and asked, “Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?” 

Elena sighed heavily. She wanted to. But she couldn’t forget the utter terror she’d felt and her anger at him was almost more than she could handle right now. But so was her love for him. Her emotions were all over the place and she couldn’t even consider the idea of forgiveness at the moment. “I just need some time, Damon.” 

Damon nodded sadly. “Okay. Take all the time you need,” he said softly, despite the fact that he was running out of time. “You should still stay here for a week or so while you get a handle on being a vampire and try not to be alone with any humans for a couple days. I’ll make sure that Stefan or Caroline are the ones to help you out though.” 

“Thank you, Damon,” she couldn’t help but say. “But right now I think I need some sleep. Apparently being dead didn’t count,” she tried to joke but it fell flat and Damon left. 

Damon found it easy to avoid Elena over the next couple days. It helped that he barely left his room. He barely had the strength to get out of bed most of the time. Stefan was in and out quite a bit, but between helping Elena through her transition and searching for signs of Klaus and Elijah, he didn’t have a whole lot of time on his hands and no one else knew that Damon was sick. He knew that it was getting near the end though, and the idea of dying like Rose, except alone, was the worst possible thing he could imagine. 

Damon took off his daylight ring and staggered over to his window, flinging the curtains open. He felt the blistering on his skin and breathed a sigh of relief. If he had to go, this was the way. Before it could get far though, he found himself tackled across the room and then whisked down to the cell and tossed inside. “The hell, Stefan?!” he yelled as the door was locked behind him before he could even react. Damn werewolf bite. His brother would never have been able to get the drop on him if he wasn’t sick. 

“You’re not dying today,” Stefan said firmly. 

“Right. Your miracle cure,” Damon sneered. Like that was gonna happen. 

“Bonnie’s also looking for something. Anything. We’ll figure something out, Damon.”

“Just tell me goodbye and get it over with,” Damon groaned as another coughing fit overcame him and a wash of blood fell from his mouth. 

“Lie still. Conserve your strength,” Stefan told him before walking off. He actually had a decent lead on Klaus finally. He had been coming to tell his brother when he found him like that. It was time to break his promise. First he went up to Damon’s room and found his ring before he went looking for Elena, finding her in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and a bag of blood. “We need to talk.”

“What’s up?” Elena asked him, worry overtaking her at the look on his face. It really irritated her how the slightest emotions kept spiking uncontrollably. 

“It’s about Damon,” Stefan sighed. 

Elena winced. “I know. I know I should talk to him, but I just…want to get my own emotions under control first.”

“I get that, Elena. And so does he, which is why he’s been making himself scarce. At least part of the reason why. But the thing is…you might not have that time,” Stefan said gently. 

“What do you mean?” she asked, even more worried now. 

“He didn’t want me to tell you this but…the night of the ritual…Klaus had been planning to use Caroline and Tyler. He got them out, but…he was bitten. By Tyler.”

“What? But that’s…Tyler’s a werewolf…that means…no!” Elena went into a panic, jumping to her feet and spilling her coffee everywhere. 

Stefan rushed to her side and started rubbing her arms to calm her. “I’m working on finding a cure, Elena,” he said quickly. “There are no guarantees, but…it’s a chance. Even a slim one.” 

“Where is he?” she asked, blurring up to his room, Stefan hot on her heels. 

Once she stopped, not sure where else to check, Stefan told her. “He’s in the dungeon. I locked him in.”

Elena felt a spike of burning rage and pinned Stefan to the wall. “Your brother is sick, dying, and in pain and you shove him in the dungeon!?” 

Stefan didn’t bother trying to fight her, knowing that it would just make things worse. Instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out Damon’s ring. “I had to keep him safe from himself, Elena.” When Elena saw the ring, heard Stefan’s words, and it dawned on her that his curtains were wide open in the middle of the day, she realized what had happened and let Stefan go. “I need to go chase down a lead, but I don’t want to leave him alone.” He placed the ring in her hand. “If you can talk him out of doing anything stupid, you’re free to let him out and make him comfortable.”

Elena closed her hand around the ring, tears spilling over in her eyes. “What if…”

Stefan pulled her into a hug. “Don’t worry about what ifs, Elena. You know I’ll do everything in my power.” 

Elena hugged him back as she tried to pull her emotions under control. “Th-that’s all I can ask for,” she sniffled. 

Stefan pulled back and smiled sadly at her. “Will you be okay with him? I can get someone else…”

“No!” Elena said quickly. “I’ll be fine. Just hurry.” 

“I will,” Stefan said, giving her one more quick hug before racing from the house. He needed to catch Klaus before he moved on. 

Elena took a few deep breaths, clenching her fist around his ring before she headed down to the basement. Her heart leapt to her throat at the sight of him laying in the dirty floor instead of on the cot as coughed up blood. She had been planning to do this part from outside, but she couldn’t help going to his side. She rubbed his back through the coughing fit before she let just a bit of anger back into her. Enough to do what she needed to do. 

“’Lena,” he said weakly, getting a good look at her.

She shoved his ring roughly into his hand. “You don’t give up, Damon,” she snapped. “That’s not you. You’re stronger than that and if you fought for your own life half as hard as you fought for mine, then you might just survive this.” 

Damon gaped at her for a moment before he let out a weak raspy chuckle. “It’s a completely different situation, ‘Lena.”

“No. It’s not,” she said firmly. “There is still hope, whether you believe it or not, and you are not allowed to give up any more than you allowed me to. Understood?” Damon couldn’t bring himself to argue with that, so he finally nodded and put the ring back on his finger. “Good,” Elena immediately softened. “Now lets get you upstairs where you can be more comfortable.” 

Damon leaned heavily on her as they made their way up to his room and once he was comfortably back in bed, with the curtains closed, just in case, he told her, “I’m fine now. You should go.”

“I’m not leaving you,” she said firmly. “I’m here until the very end.” 

“Get out of here,” he groaned, as another coughing fit overwhelmed him and he curled up in a ball of pain. 

Elena immediately climbed into bed with him, sitting back against the headboard and pulled his head to her chest, grabbing a cloth to wipe away the sweat. “Hey, shh. It’s okay,” she chanted soothingly. 

“It’s not okay,” Damon breathed out. “It’s not okay. All those years I blamed Stefan…no one forced me to love her…it was my own choice…I made the wrong choice.” There was so much he needed to tell her. So much he needed to say now that he had the opportunity. He managed to look up at her through his hazy eyes. “Tell Stefan I’m sorry, okay?” 

Elena nodded, swallowing heavily around the lump in her throat as the tears tried to overtake her again and it was a long moment before she could even get out a simple shaky, “I will.” She could feel him relax in her arms as he fell into a fitful sleep and she just sat there holding him and wiping the sweat from his brow as she cried.


	11. Chapter 11

Damon leaned his head more heavily against her, glad now that his final moments would be in her presence. No matter the agony or helplessness, he couldn’t think of a better way to die. “I’ve made a lot of choices that have gotten me here,” he said weakly. “I deserve this…I deserve to die.” 

“No,” Elena said quickly. She couldn’t even stand to hear that. She moved away from the headboard to lie next to him. “You don’t.” 

“I do, Elena. It’s okay,” he breathed out, barely able to keep his eyes open, but there were still things he had to say. “Because if I’d have chosen differently I wouldn’t have met you.” And that was the defining moment in his life. The moment that made everything before it worth it. “I’m so sorry. I’ve done so many things to hurt you,” he skipped to the important part.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I forgive you.” She found as she said it that it was actually the truth. She did forgive him. She was always going to, just as she always had, but in this moment she truly forgave him once and for all. For everything he’d ever done and everything he would ever do. She took his hand more firmly in hers, trying to rub some circulation back into it, but mostly just wanting to touch him. “I forgive you,” she said again. 

“I know I messed everything up, just like I always do…” he paused to take a few deep breaths as she laid down and rested her head on his shoulder. “But I love you…you should know that.”

Elena was having trouble breathing as her grief overwhelmed her. She had hoped for better circumstances, but she knew that she had to tell him how she felt. If he had to die, then he had to know that he was loved first if nothing else. “I do,” she choked out. “I…”

Before she could finish her thought he was speaking again, and she didn’t have the heart to interrupt him. “You should have met me in eighteen sixty four…you would’ve liked me,” he said almost amusedly. 

She sat up enough to look at him. It was now or never and she was not going to give up this chance. “I already do,” she whispered. “I love you, Damon. Just the way you are.” As his eyes fluttered closed, she prayed that it wouldn’t be for the last time and she leaned over to press her lips to his, fearing the worst when he didn’t respond. 

Just when she thought it was over and was about to completely lose it, an almost inaudible, “Thank you,” breathed from his lips. 

“You’re welcome,” she managed to whisper back. 

“Well it’s me you should be thanking,” a voice came from the other side of the room and Elena’s head snapped around to see Katherine standing there. “I mean…I’m the one who brought the cure.”

Elena moved out of the way and let Katherine over to the bed, as Damon found a newfound well of strength and managed to open his eyes. “You got free,” he said weakly. That or he was hallucinating which wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. 

Katherine poured the cure into his mouth as she said, “Yep. Finally.” 

“And you still came here,” Damon said in disbelief. 

“I owed you one,” Katherine said, rubbing a hand over his cheek before she got up and turned to Elena. “I thought you were dead.”

“I was,” Elena said tightly, trying to ignore the well of jealousy at the moment that Damon and Katherine just shared. 

Katherine gave a theatrical sniff, realizing that Elena was a vampire now. “Typical Damon. He always has been to selfish to let go,” she huffed. 

It was all Elena could do not to rip Katherine’s heart out, but she controlled herself. Barely. A change of subject was the best idea though. “Where’s Stefan?” 

“He’s paying for this?” Katherine told her, brandishing the bottle of the cure. “He gave himself over to Klaus. I wouldn’t expect him anytime soon.”

“What do you mean he gave himself over?” Elena asked worriedly. 

“He just…sacrificed everything to save his brother. Including you,” Katherine said smugly. “It’s a good thing you have Damon to keep you company.”

Elena realized that Katherine didn’t know that she and Stefan weren’t together anymore. She’d been in the tomb and then held prisoner by Klaus, and since Stefan apparently hadn’t mentioned it when they were in the tomb together, she had no way to know. She saw no need to enlighten her though. Katherine was still the enemy where she was concerned. False assumptions might come in handy someday. “Details, Katherine,” she ground out. “Is he dead?”

“No. He’s Klaus’ lapdog now. Ten years of his life to save Damon’s,” she smirked. “Goodbye, Elena.” She started to stalk out before she turned back and threw one last parting shot. “Oh, and it’s okay to love them both. I did.” She tossed the bottle the cure had been in before she blurred away. 

Elena caught the bottle, trying to come to terms with what Stefan had done. She couldn’t say that she wouldn’t have done the same. She couldn’t even say that it was a bad trade. That didn’t mean that she could just abandon him like that. She went back over to Damon who looked a lot better now and had clearly been following the conversation. “What do we do?” she asked him worriedly. 

“Nothing,” Damon said with a wince. At her affronted look he rushed to explain. “If we go after him, it’s too much of a risk that Klaus will realize you’re alive and come after everyone. Stefan didn’t make this deal just for us to end up dead anyway. If you weren’t a vampire now, then things might be different, but ten years for a vampire is nothing.”

Elena sighed heavily, remembering when they’d first met and Stefan was going to let Damon dessicate for ‘a decade or two’ as a ‘time-out’. She knew he was right. It didn’t make it any easier though. “I don’t like it.” 

“I know,” Damon said sadly. “But it’s only ten years and then he’ll be back home and you two can pick up where you left off.” 

Elena’s head snapped up to look at him confused. “You think…but…”

“It’s okay, Elena. Really,” Damon assured her, taking her hand comfortingly. “I know the only thing holding you back was the whole vampire issue. I get it.”

“Damon, no,” Elena shook her head, sliding over on the bed closer to him. “I know that you were all sick and delirious and all, so maybe you didn’t hear me…”

Damon cut her off to say, “I heard you give a dying man his greatest wish, Elena. I’m not gonna hold you to that. I’m not /that/ selfish.” 

Elena reached her free hand to his cheek as she said, “That’s not what that was, Damon.”

Damon turned away. “Elena, don’t,” he said brokenly. “You’re a new vampire. Your emotions are all jumbled and all over the place. Don’t…”

“Shut up, Damon, and stop trying to tell me how I feel,” Elena snapped irritated before taking a deep breath for calm when he did. “I loved you before I became a vampire.”

Damon narrowed his eyes at her as though searching for the truth, unable to keep a spark of hope from forming in his dead heart. “Then…why did you never say anything?” 

“Because of what you said about that whole being a vampire issue. I was trying to decide if I could live with that. I wasn’t going to risk breaking both our hearts if I couldn’t. And then…when I kissed you that night…I knew that I could. That I wanted nothing more than forever with you. I just couldn’t say it right then. I could never have walked away afterwards. I couldn’t have done what I needed to do. I was going to tell you after, but then…”

“Then I went and screwed it all up,” Damon sighed, realizing now just how stupid he’d been. If she had already decided to do it, then all he would have had to do is offer, but instead he did it all the exact wrong way. 

“I need to know…if I hadn’t kissed you like that…would you still have done it?” Elena asked the question that had been bugging her ever since. 

“Yes,” he admitted. “In fact, it would have been even more likely since I wouldn’t have had anything to lose.”

Elena reached her hand back to his cheek and turned him to look at her. “You haven’t lost anything, Damon,” she whispered. She saw the hope blossom in his eyes as his hand reached up to cover hers. “I was mad at you, yes. And the whole vampire emotions thing didn’t help that at all. But I would always have forgiven you. Even if you hadn’t gotten sick. It just might have taken a few more days,” she chuckled. 

“If you need more time…”

Elena leaned down and kissed him gently, feeling him melt into it. “I don’t,” she whispered. “I love you, Damon, and I’m ready to build a future with you. If that’s what you want.” She knew that there had been a lot of talk about love between them, but that didn’t mean he was ready to talk about the future. 

Damon smiled brightly, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “I’ve never wanted anything more, baby,” he breathed out. “I’ll be by your side as long as you’ll let me.” 

“Forever sounds good to me,” she grinned, kissing him again.


	12. Epilogue

Once Damon and Elena had settled their relationship dilemma, Damon grabbed his phone and sent a text to Stefan. ‘All good here. Thank you brother. Stay safe and you better come home when you’re done.’

He got a text back soon after. ‘I will. Take care of everyone. See you then.’

From there, Damon took the lead and helping Elena settle into vampire life, though Caroline was still around plenty to pick up the slack. Bonnie and Jeremy were frequent visitors and even Ric and Jenna stopped by every so often. Jenna had forgiven Ric for the secrets so they were back together, though when they visited, Ric and Damon generally went off to drink and let Jenna and Elena talk privately. By the time Elena went home a week after her change, Jenna was perfectly comfortable having her in the house, even if part of the fridge had to be converted to hide blood bags. 

It was two weeks after Elena got home before they had their first stumbling block. She was out of blood and hungry. It was late by the time she realized it though and figured she would be fine to call Damon in the morning. Unfortunately, right after she did that, she headed downstairs, accidentally startling Jenna who had been cooking breakfast and causing her to cut her finger. Elena felt the bloodlust starting to overtake her for the first time as the veins around her eyes popped out and her fangs started to bare. 

Jenna took a nervous step back, making sure not to move too quickly. “Elena,” she said gently. “It’s okay.” She grabbed a washrag to wrap around her finger as she backed away. 

Elena managed to hold herself back, taking a few deep breaths to force calm as her fangs retracted and the veins receeded. “Oh god. I’m so sorry aunt Jenna.” 

Jenna breathed a sigh of relief that it was over. “It’s okay, Elena. It happens,” she said much calmer than she actually felt. 

When Jenna started walking towards her, Elena held up a hand to stop her. “Just…don’t get too close. Not until Damon gets here.”

“Are you okay?” Jenna asked worriedly. 

“I ran out of blood last night,” Elena explained. 

“Then you should have called me then,” Damon said as he appeared in the kitchen and handed her three blood bags, giving Jenna an apologetic look. “Sorry for just barging in, but I smelled the blood from the car…”

“It’s okay, Damon,” Jenna assured him. As long as he didn’t make a habit of it. In this case it was a good thing. 

As Elena drained the first bag, Damon reached out to run a hand through her hair. “This is what we had left at the house. You’re lucky you caught me before I had my breakfast,” he chuckled. 

Elena was finishing the bag as he said that and she looked at him worriedly. “Here,” she handed him one of the bags. “You need to eat too.”

Damon shook his head and pressed it back towards her. “I’m a lot older than you, ‘Lena. I can control the hunger. Besides, I can snack in the city tonight when I go restock.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” she asked worriedly. 

“I’ll be fine. Worse comes to worse I can take off a little early. I know Blondie is just about out too.” 

“I thought you were always careful not to get too low?” Jenna asked. 

“I usually am, but it’s easy to underestimate how hungry new vampires get. I expected her stash to last a few more days,” Damon said apologetically. 

“Why wait until tonight?” Jenna asked curiously. She was still trying to figure out how this whole thing worked. 

“Because there’s a blood drive in the city today, which is what I was waiting for. They don’t take inventory until it’s all delivered and unloaded. The easiest way is to intercept it during the unloading process. Fewer people to compel and no inventory discrepancies to make certain people…like council members…take notice.” 

“And we have to be extra careful because we’re trying to keep three vampires fed now,” Elena added. “There’s a reason they don’t usually gather in one place.” 

Damon nodded. Which was why he’d been live feeding more often, taking day trips nearby while Elena was in school. It helped their blood supply last longer and since Elena was still squeamish about that, he didn’t bother taking her with. He’d taken her once, just so she could learn how to do it if it was needed, just as he had Caroline, but both girls preferred the bagged stuff. “Exactly. But that just means I need to go further away from time to time.”

“That’s a lot of responsibility to take on,” Jenna pointed out, looking at Damon with new respect. She was warming up to him more and more with all this and learning about the emotions and moods of vampires helped quite a bit. 

Damon just shrugged, a little uncomfortable with the subject. “Taking care of Elena is the most important thing to me, and Blondie is her best friend so it goes with the territory.” 

Damon had been secretly keeping track of Stefan’s movements, knowing his brother’s style very well. He could tell the moment he turned off his humanity and couldn’t resist making a call to Klaus, making sure that Elena wasn’t there when he did. The last thing they needed was for him to hear her on the phone. “Damon. How nice to hear from you, alive and well.” 

“Klaus,” Damon gritted his teeth. “I just want to tell you that I expect my brother back at the end of the ten years, humanity intact. Even if you have to compel him to make it happen.” 

“Not to worry,” Klaus chuckled. “I always keep my bargains.” 

“Good,” Damon said shortly before hanging up. 

After the close call, Damon got better at anticipating their blood needs, and Elena’s hunger got more controlled too which helped. By the time school ended for the year she was down to two blood bags per day which was the same as Damon and Caroline, though Damon still had the live stuff at least a few days a week. When Elena turned eighteen, a few weeks after school let out for the summer, she moved in with Damon officially, despite Jenna’s objections that it was too soon. Elena knew that Damon was her forever though, and wanted nothing more than to be with him in every way possible. 

Damon still wasn’t so sure of that. He just wanted to make the most of the time they had before he inevitably ended up losing her. When she went off to college, it was hard for him, but he managed. She wasn’t that far away and he visited often and she came home a lot of weekends and they made it work. After her freshman year though, she asked him to rent a place with her near the school and he didn’t hesitate to do so. Once she graduated with her degree in creative writing, they moved back to the boarding house. They still had five more years before Stefan would be home and needed to stay close. 

Elena started and finished her first novel, and let Damon read it before she sent it off. She had learned over the years that Damon was somewhat of a closet bibliophile and never had a lack of opinions on anything he read. He openly laughed at the vampire fantasy that was more action than romance, but still had elements of both. He could see himself and Elena in the main characters and to a lesser degree the rest of their friends and family in the others. He suggested a few minor changes to make it a little less obvious that she was on the inside with real vampires, but otherwise, he really enjoyed it and told her so. It ended up being the first of a long series. 

Ten years to the day after Damon was cured, Elena was chomping at the bit to go find Stefan, but Damon held her back. “Baby, we don’t know where in the world they are at the moment. It might take a little time for him to travel back here. If he’s not here in a week, we’ll start turning over every rock to bring him home,” Damon promised and she agreed. She still didn’t know about Damon’s secret tracking, but he had lost the trail about a year ago and hadn’t managed to pick it back up yet. It wasn’t the first time, but it was always irritating. Even more so now when it was so close to the end. 

It was three days later when Stefan walked in the front door. Damon was sitting on the couch with a glass of whiskey and a book while Elena was upstairs in her old room that was turned into an office working on her next book. As soon as Damon caught sight of his brother, he was on his feet hugging him as he said, “Elena, he’s home,” knowing that she would hear him even at the normal tone of voice. 

It was only a moment later before Elena joined them in a group hug. Damon took a step back with a tight chuckle, letting Elena get a full hug. Stefan hugged them both back gratefully before Elena took a step back. “How are you? Are you okay? What did he make you do?” 

Stefan shook his head. “I’m okay and I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Elena asked confused. 

“I mean, one minute I’m making the deal for Damon to be cured and the next Klaus is telling me that my debt is fulfilled and I need to go home,” Stefan shrugged. 

Damon snorted derisively. “Figures. The bastard couldn’t let you go with the knowledge of his activities so he compelled it all away.” 

“That’s just…ugh,” Elena stomped her foot in frustration. 

“It’s probably a good thing,” Damon told her. “No memories means no guilt over the things he was forced to do.”

“Still…losing ten years of your life is not exactly easy,” Stefan argued, unable to refute Damon’s point any further. “So…catch me up on what I missed here.”

“Well Elena here is an accomplished author. Under a pseudonym of course,” Damon said proudly. 

“I wouldn’t call four books accomplished,” Elena blushed as she sat down across Damon’s lap and leaned against his chest. 

“I would,” Stefan grinned at her, and at them. He was glad that they’d figured things out. The rest of the afternoon was spent catching up before Stefan started making the rounds with everyone else he’d missed. 

Elena had noticed how quiet Damon had been, and once they were alone, she turned to him and asked, “You good?” 

Damon smiled sadly at her. “I will be,” he nodded. “And I understand if things change with us now that Stefan is back…”

“Don’t you dare even think it,” Elena snapped. “I. Love. /You/ Damon Salvatore. Period. End of story. There is not now nor will there ever be anyone or anything that will change that. /You/ are my life. No matter who else is in it. Stefan is my friend, and maybe one day my brother-in-law, and that’s it…”

Damon cut off her words with a searing kiss. Over all the years they’d been together, he’d never been able to shake off that doubt, but now…he pulled back and looked lovingly at her. “Brother-in-law…does that mean you want…” he couldn’t even get the words out. 

Elena rolled her eyes at his idiocy. “All you have to do is ask, Damon. That’s all you’ve ever had to do.” 

“Marry me?” he asked immediately. 

Elena grinned and said a quiet, “Yes,” before kissing him softly.


End file.
